I've been telling my husband lately that I think I'm going senile. I've been worrying I might have early onset dementia or that I've missed the symptoms of a mini-stroke. I forget words, dates, and what was it that I went downstairs to get?? Like many moms will attest, my memory has not been the same since I had kids, but lately it's felt like my forgetfulness has been on overdrive (well, that and my hypochondria!). I was *this close* to begging my doctor for a brain scan when I had an epiphany: it's not that I'm any more busy than I used to be, it's that my days are much, much more random.
During my adult life before kids, I was almost always working full time while attending school on the side or working two jobs. I had a lot on my plate, but it was all neatly boxed into a repetitive weekly schedule that rarely changed, and I had exacting to do lists broken out for each day, week and month. No one stopped me five minutes into a task to ask for a snack or to tattle on her sister; no one spilled milk on the living room rug the moment I got settled in to work or screamed at the top of their lungs for ten minutes while I attempted to have a phone conversation. If I needed to go to the bathroom, I did - alone. Plus I wasn't forced to keep track as I am now of who else went to the bathroom and when and how soon I need to prompt them again - one of those mom tasks that requires just a teeny bit of RAM constantly running in the background, which means you're never 100% engaged on the task at hand. And I juggle all the schedules now for four instead of one, plus a whole inlaw family's worth of celebration dates, an entire dictionary's worth of vocabulary and never-ending changes on the horizon for my husband's career. Oh, yeah, and I'm trying to get a business off the ground! My life has gotten a lot more full and a lot more random, and we're still trying to add another little one to this delightful and maddening juggling act : )
I'm starting to accept that I'm never again going to be able to recall solely from memory the exact date and time I scheduled that eye appointment next week, and that's okay. I've always been a calendar user, but I'm bumping the status of my three-months-at-a-glance up to new BFF, and renewing my love affair with Excel. I'm embracing this forgetfulness by doubling down on to do lists and color coded schedules and meal plans, and hoping *fingers crossed* that by the time my kids leave for college, I just might have recovered enough brain storage to be able to remember what it was I went downstairs for in the first place!
So if you were nice enough to read my little rant on forgetfulness, then first thank you, and second, look what else I forgot I had: today's stash share that I stumbled upon yesterday while tidying up my sewing room! I was looking for one little mini-charm pack to tuck into a mailing, and lo - an entire box of fabrics! I was simultaneously delighted and worried I should go double check that I'd turned off the stove ; )
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